Session 2:
In her first chapter of Forming Intentional Disciples, Sherry Weddell describes with detailed statistics the crisis of Catholics leaving the Church. She shares the evidence that most departures happen in young adulthood, and that most who leave never come back. She concludes:
If this trend does not change, in ten years it will cease to matter that we have a priest shortage. The Builders will be largely gone, the Boomers retiring, and our institutions – parishes and schools – will be emptying at an incredible rate.
After demonstrating that this trend is just as worrying among Hispanic Catholics, she delves into the reason for the emptying of the pews across all ages and ethnics groups. The primary cause of departures relates to an unexpected finding, discovered in surveys researching the beliefs of Catholics:
. . . one of the most fundamental challenges facing our Church is this: The majority of adult Catholics are not even certain that a personal relationship with God is possible.
She shares a conversation with an archdiocesan vocations director that underscores the statistical reality:
I asked him, “What percentage of the men you work with – men discerning a possible call to the priesthood – are already disciples?”
His answer was immediate: “None.” “Why do you think that is?” He was very clear: “They don’t know how. No one has ever talked to them about it.”
So, here are today’s study questions:
Have you always been Catholic? How did the instruction and mentoring you received help you – or prevent you – from having a personal relationship with God?
If you were raised in a Catholic home, are your family members all still Catholic? What events among your friends and family seem to explain why some are Catholic, and others are not?
In your parish:
How’s your “retention rate”? What percentage of 8th graders in your parish are still practicing the faith at age 18? At age 24? Do young adults in your parish stay in touch with their childhood faith community, or do they drift away to an unknown fate?
Here is my response:
I was raised a cradle Catholic. My father was Catholic, and my mother had converted from the Baptist faith by the time I was born. (I was the youngest of five.) While the newness of the faith to my mother may have impacted the complete authenticity of my upbringing on Catholic doctrine, my parents did something very right when it came to nurturing the kind of relationship with Jesus that had a lasting impact: my father and mother infused Jesus, Mary, the saints, and of course, God into our family life as naturally as getting up in the morning.
My father spoke about Mary, how beautiful she was, as though he had just had lunch with her. We never took a trip that didn’t involve my father making sure there was a Mass nearby where we could receive Jesus in the Eucharist. If we lost an item, we called upon Saint Anthony for help. Jesus was simply assumed to be always with us, and those in heaven were our family that we simply couldn’t see. And consequently, heaven was (and is) something I have always looked forward to. It will be a meeting with my entire family face to face.
The only real downside to my upbringing is that I became utterly naïve that this wasn’t the standard in every household. I remember some Baptist friends challenging me on whether or not I had a real relationship with Christ at a young age, presuming that my family followed a dry Catholic theology of “works only” (which is the lie they had always been told about Catholics), and I remember being utterly confused by what they meant. Of course, I had a relationship. Did anyone not? My parents never really informed me of this. I imagine it would be a strange thing for a parent to teach a child—that is that others don’t believe what we do—but I wonder if we had been made aware if I would have used more opportunities to influence my friends or at least redirect some of the falsehoods floating around about the Catholic faith.
Likewise, my parents’ influence in this department has brought about fruit in our family overall. Out of the five children raised in my home (most of which married Protestants), all but one still follow the Catholic faith. I even think the one who doesn’t attend Catholic Mass still considers himself Catholic to some degree. There is something engrained in us that knows it is part of us. It is part of our spiritual journey; it is part of our culture; it is part of our family upbringing.
As far as my parish is concerned, I have to say I don’t know the statistics with the high school graduates–and this probably reflects my own lack of involvement with the older kids because my kids are little. My family participates in the parish to the extent we can and I even teach at the local Catholic school, but I don’t really know what happens to the majority of the older kids once they leave school. I’m not aware of any committee looking into these statistics or following up with our graduates either. It would be a great idea to form one if we don’t. The college years are the real searching years, and I know there is a huge movement among other denominations to reach out to this age. The family parish ought to be a part of that.
Here is where you offer your comments:
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