Forgive me if this post contains any grammatical or spelling errors.
You see, I’m writing it from my iPhone, and I’m not particularly experienced in thumbing the keyboard for much more than a few scribbled notes no one but me sees. Typically, I rely on my computer–my only this-is-all-mine-in-our-crazy-family-of-seven-possession. But guess what? As I approached my computer this morning after my older kids had left for school, I discovered that someone (other than yours truly) had spilled a glass of water right next to my computer–and left the scene of the crime without even bothering to clean up the mess or move my little treasure from the puddling mess.
So, as a result, I’m left with a computer that is presently soaking in a bag of rice and my own increasing frustration with my kids.
Please understand I don’t generally discuss my kids’ failures online because I want to respect their privacy and know they are actually great kids. But this disaster falls within 24 hours of one of them receiving a special tiny doll from Europe that he/she accidentally split in two within a few hours of receipt, another simply dumping her/his headphones in another child’s bedroom floor after being told to put them up, another taking clothes from my closet without asking, and one literally discarding a Capri Sun in our yard because he/she “was done with it and didn’t know where to put it.”
I wish I could say this is completely atypical behavior but it’s actually behavior that is teetering more and more towards the normal.
After venting privately before God with the same passion of a two-year-old having his favorite toy taken away, though, I realized something about how my behavior actually contributes to this kind of chaos.
Generally, when my kids make these kinds of mistakes, I do get angry (see aforementioned tantrum) but before long, I remind myself about all the great things they do too (they love God, make good grades, have kind hearts, etc.). As a result, my discipline for such behavior tends to be an initial verbal reprimand and a little time in their room followed by…not much. I suspect my kids have learned by now that when they make these small mistakes, they need to just give dear old mom time to lighten up.
The problem with that response, though, is that it doesn’t see the small problem through and consequently it helps to fix nothing. It replaces the small problem with the big picture positive and hopes for the best. It’s the same as looking at a ship with a hole, and saying, “Well, at least the other sides are pretty sturdy.”
Luke 16, however, says, “if you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.”
Yikes.
If I’m teaching my kids that it’s really only the big picture that matters and meanwhile don’t spend honest time focusing on the small, annoying matters, I’m in many ways giving them the tools for living a life of unfaithfulness.
It may have taken me losing a cherished computer to finally figure this out, but as of today, I’m making a commitment to focus on these small things: Like a hawk. An annoying, beak-wide-open and judgey-eyed hawk.
There will be no stupid behavior too small to turn into a week-long lesson on the virtues of responsibility or respect. No muddy shoe on the bed will be too small to turn into a lesson on washing and folding laundry. No small theft of clothes or toys is too small to require back payment in whatever rent they can afford.
Yes, I’m going to get creative but believe me, the point will be made: small things matter now because they impact the bigger ones tomorrow.
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